Friday, July 11, 2008

Stagnation or Evolution is the question...What is the answer??

As I lie here in bed unable to fall back asleep asking myself, “Why did I have that bottle of Coke? UGH!!! I begin thinking about my life and the changes I am presently making. These changes bring a sense of happiness yet a sense of sorrow, for I know it will never be the same again. I am also able to reflect on life up to this point in time to see how it has changed; mostly for the better. Reflecting on my past, I realize how I was stagnant for such a long time and had not evolved much. I was stuck in a rut! I’m not exactly sure what pulled me out of that rut, but I think it might be the result of the “love” for me and my children and having some really good friends. I wonder… what makes people become stagnant in their lives. Is it something they learned from their parents or is it not truly caring about what they contribute to the world or perhaps it is because of other reasons? I’m not sure, but in my opinion, I think it is terrible! I think a person should always change and grow for the better. I know no one is perfect, I am not perfect. We all make mistakes and hopefully we learn from them. But you can always improve and learn to be a better person, to communicate better with your significant other or that annoying co-worker you see everyday, to help others in need, to find ways to improve your community, to be a better parent, sibling, son/daughter….to evolve! This will teach our young people to accept and make changes themselves; to know that it is not okay to do absolutely nothing with their life- to improve the world.

My reflection has been a good one. I have focused on a few of my accomplishments over the past several years. I have earned an Associates degree (4.0 GPA), Bachelors Degree (Cum Laude) and a Masters Degree (3.6 GPA). I have improved in modeling resulting in being published. I have become a better parent (although I always thought I was a good mom… it’s my greatest achievement and joy :) ). I have evolved in being a better friend while staying true to myself and my beliefs, and I have volunteered at my kid’s school, Meals on Wheels and other programs. I believe through these accomplishments and personal growth I have taught my kids a lot. Seeing me go through college and working hard to make excellent grades has taught them that education is important and nothing can hold you back; especially since I was a teen parent. The importance of following your dreams even though they seem insignificant to anyone else, helping those in need (although now they think I can buy food and donate money for every homeless person in town) Sorry…Money does NOT grow on trees! LOL. And the importance of showing respect to your elders. My daughter now wants her very first job to be at a retirement home- Thanks to Meals on Wheels! :) Although I have accomplished some of my goals and feel a sense of growth, I have not accomplished all. I need to make new ones and accomplish those as well for life is ever evolving and I will not become stagnant in life again.

~ Nikki

It’s now 4 am (I’m drained!) hopefully I can get a little sleep before I have to get up in less than 2 hrs! It’s going to be a LONG day!

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